John

John

Complete Nurgle fiend and lover of all things grotesque, mutant and monstrous, John’s lack of canny generalship is only matched by his total lack of organisation in getting his hobby done. He has models in his drawer that have been waiting to be built longer than the average lifespan of a Death Guard space marine.

An avid lover of painting and all things painted (usually in dull, boring, muted colours, blergh) he has an ambtion that is beginning to drive him onwards to greater things: A fully painted army to play with. Like most people he dreams of the day he will be able to put down a force of fully finished models and just enjoy the spectacle of it all. Will he be able to achieve this goal? Keep checking in to find out, because this time he’s serious about it!

Oh, and he likes cats. I know right?

Elazar

noisemarine

Our own personal rules dog, and every house should have one! Elazar – also called James, but known as Elazar to his friends – hungrily devours rulebooks and online tactics debates in preparation to receive regular texts from James asking questions such as “What does Poisoned do again?”.

His knowledge of the rules is only matched by his complete lack of ability to translate them to the table top. Such great plans he has every time a game is upon him, but when the models are set up and the dice start rolling they just go out the window. Over the years this has given James and John literally moments of fun whilst playing him.

Elazar is actually a really good painter too, not that you’d know it as he does his very best to escape doing any painting at all these days. That’s all about to change though as he’s just found his perfect army: Slaaneshi Daemons and Marines! Expect some epic conversions, mixed with a lot of procrastination about painting!

James

James

James is one of those rare gamers whose play-style suites his army so perfectly it’s almost as though the characteristics which define his chosen force have become entwined with his personality. You cannot get much nerdy than that, really. But what can you do – the boy loves his Tzeentch!

When playing 40K or Warhammer Fantasy, James finds little more enjoyable than playing mind games with an unsuspecting opponent. Once he’s clambered inside their head, he’ll endeavour to vampirise his opposite number of all morale and integrity, before delivering a series of crushing blows with his unspeakably flukey dice rolls! In fact, if you were to ask John – who has long-suffered at the hands of James’ six-sided friends – he would surely attest that his fellow author’s dice rolling escapades are nothing short of freaky. His uncanny ability to turn the grimmest of nigh-defeats into victory is truly sickening to behold.

On a brighter note – well, a pink and blue one, at that – James has solemnly promised that he won’t sell his Tzeentch Daemons for a fifth time and result in him having to buy them back again. Although last time round he did say something similar before banishing his collection to the `big eBay in the sky’. Let’s hope he sticks to his word this time, then.

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